I have lived in Western Maryland my entire life- and, like any other section of the country, we are prone to quirkiness in many respects; but the one thing that NEVER ceases to amaze me is the ability of folks in this area to seriously overreact to any type of inclimate weather, particularly the snow.
Its funny- given our proximity to mountains, snow was once a frequent trouble spot in this area- about 40 plus years ago, before local governments ability to purchase items that enabled easier access on the road, namely the 50 snow plow trucks employed during any dusting that may happen.
Without fail, the following things will take place when the local meteorologist calls for anything from flurries to an avalanche:
1) people flock to the stores, empty a weeks worth of milk,eggs, & bread
2) schools will delay, or outright cancel, the following day before the first flake hits pavement
3) all local functions, from bingo to AA meetings, will be canceled
4) liquor stores sells increase by 28% across the board
In a bizzare way, for the locals, its a combination of a spectacular, once in a lifetime event & the Super Bowl- something along the lines of Haley's Comet, but with the usual disappointment of a 43-0 game that makes you long for the half time show- but by then, you're so gourged on the bread & milk you over purchased that you fall asleep before you got to see Janet Jackson's cans.
The guys most excited, however, are the guys driving the plow trucks- as I learned during my years as the graveyard manager at Denny's- no matter how light the forecast, you could count on as many as 15 state employees to sit & cash in the "free meal for snow plow guys" policy, eating huge amounts of gratis food & loading up on coffee, all while the trucks burnt fuel outside in the parking lot.
During an actual storm one year, I asked one of the plow guys if they would mind quickly clearing out our lot- to which he replied " I wish I could, but I can run this plow only on state roads"- of course, ignoring the fact that it had been running for the previous 2 hours, and that I just gave him 3 Moons Over My Hammy, free of charge. Dick.
I don't blame them, however- our government is notorious for overpaying for virtually zero results; in fact, it seems as though the LESS you do in a state job, the quicker your ascent to the top of the chain- the state supports the "less is more" theory, except of course in regard to paying taxes. I'm willing to wager that, for every truck on the road during a "storm", the senior member of the tandem is in back asleep, pulling in $57 an hour. Our tax dollars at work, folks....
The local mentality regarding weather has been empowered by the local & media- the round the clock coverage of all things potentially disasterous, after all, leads to increased ratings. I personally enjoy the recent trend by news stations such as The Weather Channel to name these acts of nature, like last years "Winter Wallop" & todays "First Strike! 2011" as though they are they equivilent to major events, ala WrestleMania.
And don't even get me started on The Weather Channel, allegedly the " foremost authority on weather" or some type of hyperbole- I sat in front of the tv for 40 minutes to get a progress report on the incoming precipitation, only to watch Mike Seidel or Jim Cantore on location in Enid,Oklahoma with the lastest edition of "When Storms Hit", a gripping documentary on when weather hits & startles a small town- forgetting of course that, if they actually would have bothered to TELL the residents about the storm BEFORE it hit, maybe the wouldn't have been taken so aback.
Further watching made me understand the "Local on the 8's"- which means, only at 08,18,28,38,48,& 58 of any given hour will these talking head assfaces actually talk about the weather. Good gig-only 6 times an hour are they required to actually pretend to know wtf is happening in any given area.
Thats enough for now- I now need to run to Radio Shack,purchase a camcorder, & put my self on youtube covering the massive snowfall that threatens the entire earth...stay posted!
Until next time....
SSS
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